Ah! It's in my pants!

So this happened a while ago, but I've finally gotten around to posting it:

Last semester, I was getting on a Blacksburg Transit (BT) bus outside of my apartment at 8:24 (that's the timecheck so I know it's accurate). I was sitting towards the back of the bus listening to my iPod, and it's pretty quiet (college kids are generally not to awake and aware before noon unless sports and alcohol are abundant).

Then, I feel something on my leg.

Okay, maybe it's just air from an open door or from the heater. I reach down below my knee and feel nothing.

But then, I feel something on the other side of my knee.

This time when I reach down, I feel a small bump under my pants. But maybe there's a hunk of lint being shifted around or something like a wayward Bounce sheet. I continue to sit there, trying to shake off whatever is clinging to my pants leg. At this point I'm attracting sideways glances from the guy sitting next to me.

and then it moved

I felt the little bump move further UP my leg, not down as the gravity / leg-shaking combination should have ensured. At this point, I scream and start furiously hitting my leg. People are looking at me oddly -- don't they understand that there is obviously a giant tarantula in my pants?

Somewhere within the freaking out I managed to lose track of the moving lump. I am both terrified and relieved. I can't feel it -- and trust me, I'm touching myself everywhere in a most embarrassing manner. So maybe it fell out. However, I can't see it on the floor either, so I'm still pretty scared.

While I'm weighing the two possibilities, we're getting to campus and I finally get off the bus. I very briskly walk to the closest building, run to the bathroom, and rip my pants off before I even close the stall door. I turn my pants inside-out and shake them while standing on the toilet (to ensure that the giant tarantula won't land on my foot, but instead on the bathroom floor).

After a few minutes of this, I see that nothing is happening. The panic has lessened significantly, and I just feel foolish. Just as I'm stepping off the toilet, I see a butterfly flopping around on the floor.

That's right -- a butterfly. Dear God, I had a butterfly in my pants.

The absurdity of this makes me laugh, while feeling awful at the same time. The poor butterfly's wing is crippled -- probably from my insane leg-shaking action.